Florida Lawmakers to Outlaw Rubber Ducky

Some things you can't make up. And some things as a blogger you just can't write. You have to defer to the original author. Or steal their ideas outright. In this case, I will defer to Kyle Munzenrieder in New Times today. Besides, if I did not, with a name like his you think he might track you down and kill you. Anyway, Kyle scores many brownie points with this incisive and very real scoop.

"In case you haven't noticed we're in the middle of some serious stuff right now, politically speaking. Oh, you know greatest economic downturn since the Great Depression, underfunded schools, a failing health care system, that kind of stuff. Which is why we're just so glad the Florida House spent a lot of time debating the ever pressing topic of novelty lighters. Yes, little lighters that resemble toys. Rep. Scott Plakon, R-Longwood, wants to ban them, but Rep. J.C. Planas, R-Miami happens to be quite fond of his hotdog shaped lighter --no seriously-- so he tried to amend the bill to allow for lighters that resemble food, beverages, musical instruments, or guns. Which would still outlaw this. They then spent 45 minutes talking about this stupid, stupid nanny state measure before a three year old innocently playing with a butane lighter resembling a rubber duckie accidentally lit them all on fire. "

This reminded me of the oldest piece of pornography that I acquired as a child, from someone who had gone to Europe. They brought me back a lighter, which showed a large- breasted woman in a shower, but when you tilted the lighter backwards, the shower curtain opened and revealed her breasts. I think in Broward County, State Attorney Mike Satz requires 18 months for possession on that one.