If you believe this story from the UK's Sun tabloid today, a 44-year-old Russian man needs to have his penis surgically reattached after a raccoon ripped it off.
But don't feel too sorry for Alexander Kirilov. According to the paper, he was trying to rape the raccoon when he got his nipper nipped.
Has anyone heard from John Wayne Bobbit lately? What a mess that guy was. I had him on my radio show once. He lit up the air like a 15 watt bulb. This is a guy who parlayed his unfortunate fame into a stint with Monday Night Raw and the World Wrestling Federation, then, after losing work as a bartender and tow truck driver, he wound up as a minister in a Las Vegas church. Really.
The guy was a total mess. Dozens of run-ins with the law, arrested about 8 times for everything from assault to grand larceny to domestic violence, winding up in jail and then on probation. Presently one of the finalists for a Broward County judgeship.